To say that Andrea has changed my life is an understatement!
First and foremost, I start this testimonial with a sincere and most humble expression of gratitude toward Andrea Pack. To say that she has changed my life is an understatement! I am evolving into a happier and more fulfilled person and I finally see the magic she spoke of in our very first session together.
Andrea has helped me become aware of past patterns that did not serve me, they instead caused me a great deal of pain and depression. I had come to a point in my life where everything seemed dark and quite hopeless and I convinced myself it was just my nature to be a depressed person. By looking at my past she helped me to see that I had dealt with a lot of childhood trauma. These traumas affected me as a young child and I had carried that wounded, unhealed child within me all of these years. The wounds manifested into different behavior patterns. The trauma caused me to form my own perceptions of reality (that most people were out to hurt me). This trauma also caused me to have unhealthy attachments to people especially men (fear of abandonment). I learned that my past had me in defensive mode. I needed to know how and why to everything so that I could be prepared when the shoe dropped. I had stopped looking at the possibilities of the future and instead focused only on how was I going to survive each day….where was the joy in living?
Something I have struggled with in the past is trusting in people and the universe. My previous perception was that people and life were out to get me or hurt me in some way. Through different practices Andrea has had me do over several months, I have learned to figure out that I was seeing this perception through the lens of a wounded child. Andrea had me do several things to start the healing process. She has taught me to find out what that wounded child needed and how to be there for her, how to help her heal, how to love her. She also taught me how to gauge where I was emotionally and to also see how far I had come. Those achievements led to great feelings of power that I could indeed overcome those feelings of self doubt...what I, at one time, thought was impossible.
Another major struggle in my life was unhealthy attachments towards people, more specifically men. What I learned about myself is that I needed all people to like me and generally think well of me. I learned that my view of relationships toward men was unhealthy. I often (well let’s be real here..) ALWAYS gave my power away. I was willing to lose myself in order to gain their validation of me…that I was good enough for them or that I was lovable, worthy and needed. My relationships were so painful and over time I had no idea who I even was. I was always trying to be what I thought was needed to keep that person in my life…not knowing that it was killing me inside and driving those people away as well. Here, Andrea pointed out again, my past and my relationship with my father. My lack of validation and care that I received from my dad I sought after in my romantic relationships. It wasn’t until Andrea had me start healing my inner wounded child, I could now give myself what I needed. I finally realized I could not and should not look for it outside of myself. Finally I started to ask myself, when I was hurting emotionally, what was it that my inner child needed and then give it to her. A huge shift started with this practice and I found myself checking in with myself more often and especially when anxiety started to rise in me or different energy that felt uncomfortable. Feelings started to become like little blinking red lights to me, that I needed to check in and see what was going on. Something quite different from the past where I ignored those emotions until I finally blew up because I could take no more. Because of this practice, I have become more calm and definitely feel more secure with myself. (THANK YOU ANDREA!!!) These practices have helped me immensely and contribute to me forming healthy boundaries and knowing what I need and want from a relationship with a man….they have given me a voice I did not have previously.
In the past I was the gal who watched her life chair side. I was not an active participant, instead I was looking for fires to potentially put out. I was in ready mode for certain disasters or I was preparing myself in advance on how to deal with potential disasters. This was robbing me of any type of happiness and instead I was caught in a vicious cycle of worry. Andrea has patiently worked with me to gain trust in myself and in this universe and God as well. She has taught me to find my inner God(dess) by visualizing this amazing and beautiful being that lives within me. This visualization practice has helped me to feel connected to God (Source) and myself. I have been able to relax into knowing this part of me and feel the strength and comfort that comes forth. This is where the magic truly showed up for me! My connection with God, friends, co-workers and even strangers have shifted. These connections feel genuine and caring, and bring me a lot of joy! I am definitely seeing through a loving heart rather than a fearful heart and my world has changed!
I’ll close with an analogy.
While on a summer vacation, I had the opportunity to go scuba diving in Jamaica. Having never scuba dived, how hard could it be, right? So I took a short course one morning in a swimming pool and by that afternoon I was headed on a boat out into the ocean. I had fear and excitement all bundled up together. Finally we hit some special spot and the anchor was thrown. The instructor had us fall back into the water and each of us, one by one, slowly descended down the chain of the anchor, using it as a guide. When it was my turn, any excitement I had was replaced with pure fear. (Plus it didn’t help that I was playing the Jaws theme in my head). I finally descended some 40 feet below and I made the mistake of looking up and seeing how far away the surface was. Panic kicked in, it was dark and cold and I could not get enough air… I was headed for a full blown panic attack, no hope for survival and only doom eminent. Luckily the instructor must have seen the amazing amount of bubbles coming from my respirator or that my eyes were as big as saucers, either way he came to me and had me focus on him. He reminded me of all the tools and techniques I had learned previously then had me repeat them back to him. He gave me my confidence back and I was able to continue with my underwater journey. It was an experience I will never forget and saw such amazing things…a whole other world! My life has been a lot like this in that is has been dark and full of fear. I have been hanging on, hoping that things would change until one amazing day I met an instructor who showed me how to show up for ME! And because of this wonderful woman (my personal angel) I have been able to experience a whole new world filled with hope and joy…and when disappointments come around they are not the end of the world, I can actually look for the blessing behind them realizing that I am growing and evolving.
Thank you will never be enough Andrea :)